Dark Water

My dreams of late seem to be inhabited by the sort of dark fucked up stories you might get from guys like Faulkner and Vonnegut and M Night Shamaylan. I don't want to sound ungrateful but that shit is waking me up in a cold damn sweat. I just want to write good stories that people can enjoy. I do not want to be doomed to writing obscure and surreal but deeply subtexted 'literature' for the intellectual elite to sit around doing mental masturbation over. Fuck that. What is wrong with just telling a good and interesting story where people seem real even if they are not and you get a few thrills and a few laughs and maybe learn some cool shit whether you meant to or not.
Maybe you never get the muse you want. But always learn to be grateful for the muse you get. Could be worse. For a while they weren't talking to me at all.

I am sad and have good reason to be sad. Death, boredom, lack of sleep and lack of time with my wife are all reasons for being down.
The usual things don't seem to be pulling me out of the funk. Maybe some B-12 or a drinking binge.

Sleep is a refuge from the exhaustion of being. One can only hope that if death is not the start of a wild adventure in afterlife Disneyland that it is a gentle slip into an endless sleep.

I suppose to qualify as a blogger I should probably write something here more than a few times a year when I get insomnia. Ah well.
Death used to be a mystery to me in terms of experiencing it. This is sadly no longer the case. Less than a year ago I lost my father who was combination of John Wayne, Jimmie Stewart and Al Borland. Yesterday I lost my niece. She was a wee small baby but she affected the lives of everyone around her. Nobody is unimportant. There are no expendable people. Everyone matters and should be loved and treated with respect. I hope it doesn't take death for these ideas to hit home but sometimes it seems even death isn't enough. We lose thousands and go to war to lose thousands upon thousands in struggle instead of trying to understand what would drive young men to destroy themselves. I know introspection over action seems alien to a lot of us but without it we are at the mercy of those who value greed and power over either. Please start thinking before you leap to action...if only for a moment.